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is that an oilstick in your pocket, or are you just happy to see us?

"Hmmm...what did she really think of the Whitney Biennial?"

Greetings, dear readers. Welcome to our spring/summer issue. We'd like to say it's a "double issue," but it's more like--

Our tantric issue. As in: look deep into its eyes for seven hours...

And just when you think you can't take anymore, stop.

Repeat for the next four months. Then have a cigarette, and get the hell out of the apartment.

But seriously, those of you who have been loyal readers for the past two years have surely inferred by now that we're desperate for some R&R.

So...drumroll, please...we have decided to take the summer off.

But keep watching the website for...well, whatever you watch it for. So, Julie, what are your plans for our summer vacation?

Well, Kristen, I've signed on for a residency with a tiger husbandry program in Sumatra, followed by a stint of extreme papermaking on the newly colonized planet of Mars.

Typical--all you need is evidence of water, and artists swoop in.

Hear me now and believe me later: Mars is the new Wicker Park.

As for me, I'll be auditioning for Average Joe: Adam, Third Time's the Charm.

Way to go, Kristen. Like we always say: aim low and achieve!

Anyway, before we take off to further our educations in the bizarre mating rituals of the animal kingdom, we have one big date with all of you.

That's right, all you lonesome lovers: it's Art Chicago time again! So pop a breathmint and stop by our booth.

Not that it's a kissing booth; there was some confusion about that last year. But we will have the long-awaited mouthtomouth T-shirts for sale.

Perfect to stash in your knapsack for a quick a.m. getaway. It's so walk of shame!

And what says "Springtime in Chicago" more than that?